Last summer, I heard a Mom caution her approximately three year old son, “No running, remember,” on a wood chipped play ground next to a springy lawn. I watched this boy a bit, was the little guy suffering from some disability? His gross motor skills were terrific.
Later that day, I heard another Mom explain letters to her son from the label on a juice box, then turn to her companion and say, “Now that I’m downsized, I feel so guilty that he’s not in day care. He’s not in a consistent educational environment.”
My K was meanwhile dare deviling up the twisty ladder on the big kid’s play ground. I was about to tell her we needed to leave that section – smaller kids were following her example – when one of those smaller kids fell. I caught her, then said, “I think your Mommy wants you to come down.” Her Mother arrived and said, “I think she’d listen to you better than me anyhow.”
I’m afraid I let the words come out of my mouth to that stranger, “Then you have a big problem.”
I think these ladies had all come out of a library reading session for the little kids, so they cared about their kids. They sounded educated, and were beautifully dressed. They just didn’t know that kids need to run if they are going to behave well later (and take a nap!); that obeying loving parents was OK; and that they could teach their own kids the basics without hiring an early childhood educator.
No wonder I get panicked phone calls from the parents of 2 year olds about their extended family’s reaction to their decision to homeschool.
Nice job! I hadn’t really thought about the runnng thing before, but it certainly makes sense. Sometimes it’s just a habit to tell them not to run (mostly because mine like to run in the HOUSE!)
I do understand where the mom was coming from who said her child would probably listen to you better. My kids tend to be more quick to obey others than myself. I think they know I love them and will only discipline them to a point, but with utter strangers they are clueless as to what they may do to them.
I also find it amazing that everyone thinks their children (even as young as age 2!!) needs to be in preschool. I actually know a child that’s been in preschool for over a year and still can’t draw a stick figure. My 3 year old can write her name with my direction and that’s with me homeschooling 3 older brothers, one of which is dyslexic.
It took me awhile to get it too. They really can learn as they go, while doing everyday activities. Especially when they’re young.
Enjoyed your post :-)
There is something to the ‘obeys other adults better’ bit – in fact, when my Mom started a nursery school in the ’70’s, that was part of her rational.
Shoot! With our kids the rule of thumb is not too many tears and not too much blood! I encourage educational TV and games at home, but part of enjoying childhood is the absolute freedom to explore on your own, take risks, screw up and figure out how to avoid that next time. Our kids, like any kids, learn so much more from daily life and personal experiences than from a textbook or professional educator. They work with us; they play with us. That’s how they learn from us.
I know parents who are so worried that their 2-year-old isn’t reading Shakespeare yet or their 6-year-old isn’t a contender for the Nobel Prize. I feel sorry for them and for their kids, both. The parents for their disappointment due to impossible expectations, and the kids for having lost so much of the beauty that is childhood.
i like your dramatic rule Heidi – it must be fun to say.